App: Yelp (Business Reviews)
Littlefinger’s Establishments (King’s Landing)
Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ (1/5)
Verified Reviewer: The High Sparrow
Vibe: "A Den of Thieves Awaiting the Flame"
Review
I am standing outside this pit of vipers and my feet are dirty but my soul has never been lighter. One star. If I could give zero stars and a literal lightning bolt from the Father, I would.
I didn’t go in for the "hospitality." I went in because the Septon was inside doing things that would make a goat blush. The ambiance? Imagine a swamp covered in expensive silk. It’s cloying. It smells like perfume trying to hide the scent of a dead dog. Lord Baelish thinks he can sell sin by the cup, but all he’s doing is charging people gold to walk into a furnace.
My brothers—the Faith Militant, God bless them—did a bit of "remodeling" while we were there. Smashed the tables, broke the idols, really opened the place up. It was a productive afternoon. We found the "High" Septon exactly where you'd expect: hiding behind a curtain and his own hypocrisy.
The service is terrible. I tried to offer the staff a path to salvation and they asked me if I had a reservation. Well, the Seven don't need a reservation. We’re closing the doors. If you’re looking for a place to lose your coin and your dignity, keep walking. The only thing Baelish is serving tonight is a reckoning.
Favorite Quotes
> "Strip away the gold and the silk, and what remains?"
> "Every one of us is poor and powerless. And yet together, we can overthrow an empire."
> "The Mother offers mercy to those who repent; the Faith Militant is less patient."
Interests
Barefoot Ministry, Soup Kitchens, Tearing Down Gilded Cages, Radical Poverty.
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