⭐☆☆☆☆ — Unacceptable. Forty Years Of Documentation. Filed Into The Void.
Verified Involuntary Resident · Sentence: Eternal · Check-Out Date: Pending
General Zod · The Phantom Zone
I am a general. I will be professional about this.
Check-in: No process. No intake form. A projector and then void. I requested the intake form anyway. Nothing provided it. I have noted the noncompliance.
The facility: No floor. No walls. No ceiling. I attempted to establish a perimeter. There is no perimeter. I extended it anyway.
Staff: I requested to speak to a supervisor. I outrank the concept of a supervisor. This has not resolved anything.
Noise level: The silence is insubordinate. I have ordered it to cease. It has refused.
Amenities: I requested the continental breakfast. The void offered the heat death of the universe. I find this selection limited.
Sleep quality: N/A. I do not sleep. I have attempted to begin.
Other guests: Ursa remains ideologically committed. Quex-Ul has been doing something with his hands for twenty years despite having no hands. We do not ask.
Value: I want a refund. There is no one to issue it. I have filed the request seventeen times. I have received seventeen confirmations from nothing.
I have checked the “Would Not Recommend” box. I am currently manifesting a physical form to deliver this feedback in person. Prepare the manager.
KNEEL. (before the Terms and Conditions)
Comments:
@Ursa: Five stars. Clarity. Purpose. No weakness.
@GeneralZod: Ursa this is a review not a manifesto.
@Superman: General please do not announce planetary invasions in the comments section.
@GeneralZod: This is customer feedback.
@LexLuthor: I have a PDF regarding mutual interests that may concern your tactical team.
@GeneralZod: Does the PDF acknowledge my sovereignty?
@LexLuthor: It’s negotiable.
@GeneralZod: Send it.