Product: Holocaust Cloak
Holocaust Cloak — One Size — Black — With Torch Attachment by Max's Miracle Emporium, Florin · Estimated delivery: before your window of opportunity closes
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ · 23 ratings
$84.99 ✓ Prime In Stock — while storming season lasts
About This Product
The Holocaust Cloak is a full length black garment designed for nighttime castle approach, gate intimidation, and the creation of a convincing supernatural effect when worn by a very large man carrying a torch at the right angle in low visibility conditions.
Results depend heavily on the size of your man. A small man in this cloak is a person in a cloak. A very large man in this cloak, approached from a distance in darkness, is something the gate guards will not want to think about later.
Sold as seen. Torch not included. Very large man not included.
Product Features
- Full coverage blackout construction ✓
- Lightweight enough for running ✓
- Dramatic enough for storming ✓
- One size fits most · One size fits Fezzik with room to spare ✓
- Fire resistant exterior (the cloak, not the man) ✓
From the manufacturer:
Miracle Max here. I made this cloak for a specific job and it worked perfectly and I want that noted because I have had some professional setbacks recently and I am rebuilding and this cloak is evidence that I still have it.
Valerie helped with the stitching. She will tell you she did most of the stitching. She did most of the stitching.
Customer Questions & Answers
Q: How large does my man need to be? A: Large enough that the gate guards don't finish the thought they started.
Q: Can I use this for non-storming purposes? A: You can. You will feel that you are missing the point.
Q: Does it come with instructions? A: Wear it. Carry fire. Walk toward the thing that needs storming. That is the instruction.
Q: What if the gate guards don't run? A: Get a larger man.
Q: Is this the same cloak used at the storming of the Thieves' Forest gate in Florin? A: Yes. We are very proud of that. The king is less proud of it but his opinion is no longer relevant.
Customer Reviews
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ — Worked Exactly As Intended Verified Purchase · F. the Giant, Florin Gate guards ran. Did not have to hurt anyone. This was my preference. Five stars.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ — The Cloak Did Its Job Verified Purchase · Inigo Montoya, currently stationary for once We stormed a castle. The cloak was the beginning of that. What came after the cloak is a separate matter that resolved well. Miracle Max should be very proud. I have told him. He pretended not to care. He cared.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ — Five Stars For Max Verified Purchase · Valerie, Florin He did need my help with the stitching. He knows. Five stars for the cloak. Six stars for my husband who would never admit he needed the six.
⭐☆☆☆☆ — Deeply Unsettling Unverified · Gate Guard, Castle Humperdinck I did not purchase this item. I am leaving this review as a warning. Whatever came out of that darkness was not something I was trained for and I want that noted in my personnel file and also in this review.
© Max's Miracle Emporium. Results dependent on man size, torch quality, and gate guard disposition. Not responsible for outcomes after the gate. What happens inside the castle is between you and the castle. As you wish.
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