Return Policy: Necronomicon Ex-Mortis

Amazon Return Policy — The Necronomicon Ex-Mortis

Product ID: NCRNCN-1300AD · Sold by: Kandarian_Demon · Fulfilled by: Castle Kandar

Standard Return Window

Amazon accepts returns within 30 days of delivery.

You have had this book since approximately 1300 AD. Amazon is extending the return window as a courtesy. Please do not read the extension aloud.

Condition Requirements

Items must be returned in original condition. The Necronomicon Ex-Mortis is bound in human flesh and inked in human blood. Amazon considers this original condition. If your copy has additional flesh that was not there at purchase, please note this in the return form under Other.

How To Return

To initiate a return, select your reason:

∙ ☐ No longer needed

∙ ☐ Arrived later than expected

∙ ☑ Accidentally unleashed Deadite plague on medieval village

∙ ☐ Did not read product description carefully enough

These are not mutually exclusive. You may select multiple.

The Three Words

Amazon’s standard return process requires verbal confirmation of your return request.

You must say the words exactly.

Amazon will not be providing the words. Amazon will not be confirming whether you have the words correct. Amazon strongly recommends you have the words correct.

If you say the words incorrectly, Amazon is not responsible for resulting temporal displacement, Deadite manifestation, or being catapulted into either the past or future. These outcomes are not covered under Amazon Prime.

Return Shipping

The Necronomicon must be returned to its place of origin via a method that does not involve reading from it, setting it down unattended, or leaving it with someone who seems trustworthy. Past experience suggests this last point requires emphasis.

Amazon does not offer prepaid return labels for books that scream.

Refund Method

Refunds are issued to the original payment method.

If you acquired this item during a cabin rental in Tennessee, Amazon is unable to locate the original transaction. Amazon recommends not returning to the cabin to check.

Customer Questions & Answers

Q: The book keeps moving on its own. Is this normal?

A: Please see the product description under Features.

Q: I said the words but something came out of the woods anyway.

A: This is a known issue. Case has been escalated.

Q: Can I use this as a regular book?

A: No one has successfully done this. Several have tried. We wish you well.

Q: What happens if I only say two of the three words?

A: We cannot answer this question for liability reasons.

This item is also available in Hardcover, Paperback, and Screaming.

© Amazon.com Inc. All rights reserved. The Necronomicon reserves rights that predate the concept of rights and will be exercising them regardless.